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While on routine patrol...
I was in the car because the
coffee shop was closed.
The motorist was operating
He had a bumper sticker that said
his vehiclein a reckless manner...
"SLOW DOWN--DON'T FEED THE PIGS"
The accident scene and the safety
It was raining.
of the victims prevented this
officer from doing traffic control.
This officer went out-of-service
It was too hot to ride in the car.
to obtain intelligence information
from a street informant.
I observed the suspect acting in a
The dirt-bag let go with an
suspicious manner...
'Oink' as I walked by.
Knowing the suspect had a
He puked on my uniform one night...
criminal history...
The informant is of known
I've got two theft cases hanging over his head...
credibility and has provided reliable
information in the past...
While being arrested, this subject
He ripped my shirt and broke my
resisted being injured in the act...
new mirror sunglasses...
The motorist was cited for
I wrote him one citation for each
multiple traffic violations...
swear-word he used...
Upon announcing my title and
The rock music was so loud they
purpose I heard a voice from
wouldn't have heard Patton's army
inside the house say 'Come in'
so I kicked in the door.
so this writer entered through the door.
The members of the press at
I sent them to a non-existent address
the scene were offered every
which I called the 'Command Post'
courtesy within departmental
policies...
I gave the motorist a verbal
She was a good-looking blonde who
warning for speeding...
owned a liquor store and who was
free after my shift was over.
The Chief appeared at the
I sent him to the same address as
scene and took command.
the reporters.
Further interview of the
Tonight is my bowling night...
witnesses was impossible,
due to conditions.
The motorist's eyes were glassy,
He was howling at the moon and
he had slurred speech, was
trying to drive the car from the
unsteady on his feet, and smelled
back seat.
strongly of alcohol.
Using only enough force to
My favorite song is 'Drop kick me
restrain the subject...
Jesus Through the Goal Post of
Life'.
The defendant asked this officer's
I told him he didn't have the
advice on how to act before the
balls to call the judge the same
judge at his arraignment...
name he called me.
