46 Things You'll Never See On Star Trek
 
1.The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of the type it has encountered several times
 before.
 
2.The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote colony of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.
 
3.The Enterprise comes across a garden of eden like planet called Paradise where everyone is
 happy all the time. However, everything is soon revelaed to be exactly as it seems.
 
4.The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform which turns out to be a familliar old
 lifeform wearing a funny hat.
 
5.The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious alien plague, for which the cure is found in
 the well stocked sick bay.
 
6.An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer,
 only to find that it has bought the wrong leads.
 
7.A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as faulty capacitor by the
 Enterprise's well trained and highly competent engineering staff.
 
8.A power surge on the bridge fails to electrocute the user of a computer panel due to a
 sophisticated, 24th century surge protection device called a "fuse".
 
9.The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
 
10.The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien lifeform which does not put them on trial.
 
11.The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.
 
12.The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange and dangerous situation, and there are no
 pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.
 
13.The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien life form which they quickly pacify by offering
 it sweeties.
 
14.The enterprise is involved in some bizzare time warp phenomenon, which is in some way
 unconnected with the 20th century.
 
15.Somebody takes a shuttle out and it doesn't explode or crash.
 
16.A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in
 the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
 
17.The shields of the Enterprise stay up during a battle.
 
18.The enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny day.
 
19.An attempt at undermining the Klingon Federation Alliance is discovered without anyone noting
 that such an attempt, if sucessful, would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the
 quadrant.
 
20.A major character spends an entire episode in the holodeck without a single malfunction trapping
 him / her there.
 
21.Picard hears the door chime and doesn'tother to say "come".
 
22.Picard walks up to the replicator and says "Coke on ice".
 
23.Councillor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
 
24.Mood rings come back in style, jeapordising Councillor Troi's position.
 
25.Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have Kate Pulaski show up and disrupt the
 wedding by shouting "Did he read you love poetry? Did he serve you poisonous tea? He's mine!".
 
26.When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range, no - one say "on
 screen".
 
27.Worf actually gives another vessel more then two seconds to respond to a call from the
 Enterprise.
 
28.Worf kills Wesley in the holodeck by mistake.
 
29.Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a "smarmy git", and consequently has
 a go at making some friends his own age for a change.
 
30.Wesley saves the ship, the federation and the universe as we know and everyong is grateful.
 
31.The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out again without
 intervention from the boy genius Wesley Crusher.
 
32.Wesley tries to upgrade the warp drives and they work better than ever.
 
33.Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode without having a hot flush and getting
 breathless when Picard is in the room.
 34.Guinan forgets herself and breaks into a stand - up comedy routine.
 
35.Data fallls in love with the replicator.
 
36.Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits and isn't tragically separated from
 her at the end of the episode.
 
37.The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advenced people which is made a great
 deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
 
38.An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.
 
39.Spock or Data are fired from their high ranking position for not being ablt to understand the most
 basic nuances about one of the three sentences that anyone says to him.
 
40.Kirk's hair remains consistent for more than one consecutive episode.
 
41.Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt.
 
42.Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest female before she doesn't sacrifice herself to him.
 
43.Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics.
 
44.Scotty isn't the only crew member not affected by a new weapon / attack by an alien race, etc
 due to his darn green blood or bizzare Vulcan physiology and thus cannot save the day.
 
45.The ephisode ends without Bones and Kirk laughing at Spock's inability to understand the joke,
 and he doesn't raise his eyebrow.
 
46.The computer has a general protection fault.
 
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